


twin fantasy (those boys)

by unlit_day



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Dead Josh Dun, Death, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Drabble, Guns, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Sorry, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, No Dialogue, Sad, Sad Tyler Joseph, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?, im gonna start crying again, inspired by a Car Seat Headrest song, just sad, the word cock in case that triggers you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-29 00:16:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12618804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unlit_day/pseuds/unlit_day
Summary: tyler keeps forgetting how much it hurts to look at the sun.





	twin fantasy (those boys)

**Author's Note:**

> IMSORRYIMSORRYIMSORRY
> 
> i cried writing this i dont know either ok, i was just trying to do an assignment and then my brain said "NOPE TIME TO HURT YOUR OWN FEELINGS"
> 
> SO HERE DONT READ THIS

Tyler's eyes hurt as he looked at the sun, felt the sting on his iris and the burn in his pupil. He'd forgotten the pain he'd feel if he looked at the star and waited for a while, let it demolish his vision. It was his own little fancy way of reminding himself he was alive. Well, there was also Josh; past tense. Was.

Those two always thought that no matter what, the show went on. That no matter what, they'd keep going and laughing and fucking around off in the distance away from the reality that their lives were falling apart around them, friends and family dying, houses and flats shrinking to nothing. Food and water growing smaller day by day. But that didn't matter, did it? Not while those two brothers, those two lovers, those two boys had their smooth-cocked adventures. 

Tyler would sink to his knees whenever he saw Josh, both in his head and in real-life. He would take what he could get even if it wasn't that broad-chested boy with the oak-wood eyes and soft, soft skin. Even if the cock in his mouth was too small or too big, or the thighs his hands rested on were too hairless or too hairy. So what? He still saw Josh. 

Tyler kept forgetting how much it hurt to look at the sun like this; he hadn't done it in so long, how could he remember? It was like everything was just what he needed it to be. He never looked at the sun after Josh because it was a constant reminder that Josh was gone, he would be gone forever, he wouldn't ever come back to Tyler because even when Tyler was gone, too, they'd be in different places. Josh would be happy eternally, feathered wings and soft clouds and whatever his own personal Heaven looked like to him. Tyler, however, would be in his own personal Hell. Drowning, falling to pieces, watching Josh and never getting to touch him or smile at him or talk to him or do anything because Josh is dead.

Josh was dead and it was all Tyler's fault. Josh wouldn't be dead if Tyler hadn't dragged him to that party, the one where neither knew that the host was absolutely fucking psycho and was going to lock everyone in his basement and start shooting. Josh wouldn't be dead if Tyler had waited for him to pick himself up off the floor, hadn't just started smashing windows to crawl out and not get hit by a silver bullet with a gun he'd never know what was because anything involving guns makes him break down and. He. Was. Not. Weak. 

Tyler would never have what he wanted. He'd never get to be one with Josh like they promised each other, never get to shelter each other from the sun itself so that their eyes didn't melt in the sockets, they couldn't kiss, they couldn't fuck, they never did any of it and never will. They were only having fun.

(Now is the part of the script in which Tyler just gives up. He merges himself out of the sanctuary he would call his own romance until it becomes just a fantasy world, a disassociation. This is not something that could happen to him; this is something that simply can and will only ever take its rightful place in his mind. But he blinks, then, now, sometime, and shakes himself awake. He has become a part of society once more. He will chant it in his head, knowing everything is being ripped to shreds right in front of him and he can't ever do anything about it. Come, dear children, call no more. He has only lyrics now.)

He wonders if when he's gone if Josh could still be there. When he was gone forever, would Josh be happy in the sky, light in his eyes and feet bare against the sweet expanse of the Devil's back?

Only time can tell;

and, goodness, time would do that.

**Author's Note:**

> why the fuck did i do that.


End file.
